Most of the time we leave through the front door. We press down on the handle or turn the knob, open the door, and walk across the doorstep. It’s a simple pattern for leaving the house—easy, safe, andwell-known. But why not go out through the window?
Open the Window
I love that illustration. Wooly grabs Julie’s hand and they jump out of the window to look for Lulu, the lost doll. I realized a while back that this is kind of a symbolic scene. I am not sure whether Daniel illustrated it like that deliberately, if it was his gut feeling, or maybe that is how he pictured the scene in his mind. Nevertheless, Julie and Wooly’s escape through the window is captivating and fits perfectly into the concept of not only the book, but all that relates to Julie and Wooly.
I associate that moment when the characters leave the room to investigate and solve the problem of a small child with going beyond our weaknesses and boundaries that we often impose on ourselves. Locked inside the “four walls” of our minds, we don’t realize that it’s quite often enough just to open the “window” in our heads and jump out of it—to go outside the usual patterns and outside our comfort zone to seek other, better solutions.
Wouldn’t it be simpler to tell a crying child who lost their favorite toy, “Don’t cry, we’ll find it” just to make them stop crying even though this negates their feelings? We know this is despite our good intentions since we naturally feel sorry when the child cries. Maybe it be easier to say, “No worries, we’ll buy a new one”? But again, this negates the feelings and only seemingly solves the child’s problem. These are patternsthat areheard and rememberedbecause that is what everyone does or did. They are the familiar, easy, and seemingly safe well-worn patterns that we tend to fall into.
Go Out Through the Window!
Of course, we do need patterns. They make our lives easier and bring order to functioning in the surrounding world and society. Without patterns, we would be living in utter chaos. At the same time, patterns constrain us. We often create them ourselves so that we feel safe and secure. They are precisely the patterns that often limit us as parents in raising our children and make things not always go well, causing an uphill battle when our children rebel against us.
As parents, we often don’t feel like looking for new solutions or approaches. Even more often, we don’t have time to pause for a while and reflect on what we want or need to do and say. In the constant chase after all sorts of things and in between our responsibilities, we don’t find the time to rethink and reconsider our choices and behavior. We would rather use patterns that are already familiar and rooted somewhere deep in our subconscious, observed and absorbed during our childhood but not always beneficial to either parent or child. This makes things easier and more comfortable. Hence why we say “Don’t cry,” “There is no need to despair,” “Don’t worry,” and many more, often much worse, phrases.
Locked in our patterns, we do not see new opportunities, ways, ideas, and solutions.
At times it may be just enough to “go out through the window” to find some other way to get along with your child. Express understanding for their feelings and say, “I see that you are sad or upset,” “I know that this is very important to you,” or “I’m sure we can find a solution.” It is also better to take the child’s problem seriously, even if it seems trivial or ridiculous to us adults. It is best to express the conviction that we can look for the solution and solve the problem together. That way, the child will feel important and really believe that they can solve literally any problem.
So it is worth going beyond the usual and deeply-rooted patterns when raising children, solving problems,and looking for ways to explain things that our children or even ourselves don’t understand.
I really want Julie and Wooly to show you and your kids that by going out “through the window” and not “through the door,” you will be able to search for new opportunities for cooperation and new solutions to your everyday or unexpected problems. In this way, you can gain something very special—a lasting, loving, and mutually respectful relationship.
So go out through the window sometimes.
P.S. I recommend leaving the house through the door though, even if you live on the ground floor. 😉
If you want to get to know more about the Julie and Wooly series, check out the posts below:
